Creative 5 Step Process - Step 5 - Determine Next Steps - Now What?
Do you and this person want to continue working together? Or is it time for you to go your separate ways?
Whatever the decision is, it is just the right decision. If you decide to part ways, you can begin looking for who you want to fill the role.
If if it that they will remain in the relationship, it is time to determine how to structure that for success! Let's look at some important things to keep in mind.
What if it is a skill issue and you have decided to continue working together.
Is there specific training, coaching or mentoring they could value from?
Questions you may want to ask-
What do you see lacking in your knoweldge for the position?
What do you feel you need to close these gaps?
How can I best support you in getting you up to speed with the expections for the position?
How ever they respond, make the arrangements to get this addressed as quickly as possible. Once it has been determined that there is a need and the person tells you what they need, you dod not want to risk losing trust by not addressing it right away.
However, what if it is a motivation issue and you have decided to continue working together.
This can be challenging, because if they really are not motivated, there is not a lot you can do to motivate them.If that is the case, I generally try to find out why they want to continue in the position. Is it the security of a paycheck even if for the time being, or the need for security and benefits or a lack of knwledge about how to proceed with finding a better job fit for themselves. Whatever it is, try to get to the bottom of it, by asking.
How does this position fulfill your needs?
What are your short term goals? Your long term goals?
What are they willing to do to be satisfied in their work?
Creative 5 Step Process - Step 4 - The Clarifying Discussion
How did it go forming and practicing your opening statement? Hopefully you were able to summarize your key concern. By asking a question you are going to get some information back. What you say next depends upon what they say in response.
Last week we used examples ti give you an idea how this works. Let's revisit them and look at how to learn Step 4.
Examples illustrated in Step 3:
"I have received feedback from clients that the store was not opened on time at least 3 times last week. What can you tell me about that?"
"If I heard you correctly you do not have the necessary information to complete the "Burke project" that is due tomorrow. What does that mean for the success of this project? "
"I am concerned that it is taking you more time to generate sales than you lead me to believe it would take. My understanding from you was that you have experience in sales yet after 6 months you have failed to close any sales. What do you think is the reason for that?"
Step 4 is, "The Clarifying Discussion. This is the step that will resemble an directional 2-way discussion. Your role is to listen, learn, ask a clarifying question. In some cases you will have to also respond, perhaps stating a policy, belief or value of how you want the job done. Let's see how that can look using example #1 from above.
You: I have received feedback from clients that the store was not opened on time at least 3 times last week. What can you tell me about that?
Employee: I may have been a few minutes late but I am usually here on time. Who's complained?
You: Well I can understand why you would want to know, but the fact that clients have wanted to get assistance and we were available is what I would like to task about now. What is your understanding as to when you should be here to open the store?
EE: 9:00 .
You: What time have you been arriving?
EE: Usually by 9:00.
You: In order to open the store and be ready, when you are hired I asked you to be here at 8:45. What do you recall about that?
EE: Yeah, I remember you might have said something like that, but if I am here by 9:00 it is usually enough time to get the store opened before anyone shows up.
YOu: I asked you to be here at 8:45 in order to open the store and be prepared because just is consistently what worked when others including me opened. Being here at 8:45 is my expectation.
Are you willing to do that?
EE: Yes, but what if something comes up?
You: What would that be?
EE: Oh, I don't know maybe traffic, or I have trouble getting my daughter to day care , any thing could happen.
You: It is critical to the success of the business that you be here are 8:45 every day. What can you do to make sure that happens?
EE: (after thinking for a few seconds) I could plan ahead, leave earlier, give myself more time to get here.
You: I know that works for me when I have to be somewhere on time. Can I count on you to do that?
EE: Yes
You: Great, I appreciate your willingness to correct this and for talking to me about it. How is everything else going?
This is the example of a Proactive Conversation. By dissecting it you can see you are making this interactional, not you lecturing them on the need to be on time. You are also clarifying what your policy is and that it is important to your business that the store be opened. In order to say this you must already be clear about that. If it really isn't important to the business then don't say it is.
Declaring this will show you the importance of the first two steps. Let's review them:
Know Your Intention (what is it you want to have happen?)
Learn Their Intention (what's important to them? Does this job matter or if it just a job?
State Your Concern (communicating the gap in performance and the impact to the business)
The Clarifying Discussion (stating what you want and learning whether their issue is skill or motivation)
I want to encourage you to read the script above over several times and see how it feels as you play out the part of the manager/business owner.
As I mentioned earlier you are making your responses based on what they say so what if it went another way. Let's see how that would look.
You: I have received feedback from clients that the store was not opened on time at least 3 times last week. What can you tell me about that?
Employee: Well with traffic being so unpredictable and getting my daughter to child care it is hard to get here at the same time everyday. I don't see what difference it makes.
You: Well I can understand that you have challenges that may make it difficult however when you were hired I explained the importance of being here by 8:45 every day. Do you recall our discussing that?
EE: Yeah, I do, that just isn't as easy as I thought it would be.
You: I understand, it sounds like it has been tough on you. How are things after you get here?
EE: Well, it is not what I thought it was going to be. I thought I would enjoy working with the pets but they are starting to get on my nerves.
You: Sounds like this is not working for you anymore. What do you think?
EE: Well, probably not. I have times my daughter is sick and I take her to daycare anyway because I have to come here. I think I could make more money somewhere else.
You: Have you looked into other options?
EE: (after thinking for a few seconds) Well my brother in law needs some clerical work done for his business and I could work for him from home and that would help me be with my daughter and cut back on child care cost and still make some money.
You: Sounds like you have made up your mind.
EE: Yes, kind of, I actually still need to work for at least the next two weeks.
You: Well, I could use that time to find someone to replace you. I am going to ask you to be here on time for the remaining two weeks. Can I count on you for that?
EE: Sure, I will ask my husband to help out in the morning to make sure I get here.
You: Great, I appreciate your willingness to correct this and for talking to me about it. How is everything else going?
As you can see it can go either way, by knowing your intention and their intention you will be prepared for whichever way it goes. Practice with the remaining examples listed above. Share your comments here in this blog and come back next week for the final step.
Make it a great week!
Creative 5-Step Process: Step 3 - State Your Concerns
Welcome Back! How did it go last week? As you listened and learned about the intention of those you want to have these conversations with, what did you learn? Well, if it is anything like those I work with everyday, it is getting you closer to understanding what you want to say and how you want to say it. By understanding what's in it for them, you can learn more about how to approach the topic. Once you know what it means to them, you can determine how to begin.
This week you will get the chance to start the discussion. Now that you have decided your intention and their intention, Step 3 is about "Stating Your Concern".
Stating Your Concerns is successful when you are clear, direct, brief and maintain eye contact. This is what you have been preparing for in steps 1 & 2. Here you put it together and get your message across. Let's break it down:
Clear - you only get one chance to make an impact, be clear & focused on what you most want to say. Some examples might be, "Susan, I would like to talk about your recent pattern of absences." This as opposed to, " Susan, I think coming to work everyday is important and the only way we are going to get our work out for the clients is if we are here and getting project done..." It can be very confusing to her person receiving the message for us to take a long round about way of saying what we most want to communicate. Be clear, so think it out first, the importance of steps 1 & 2. Figure out what you most want to change and put it into a sentence that is clear.
Direct - this goes along with clear but direct is more of a way of saying what you are going to say too. It maintains that you are confident, maintaining eye contact, sincere. Directness will get the hard part of the message out on the table before too much anxiety builds up on either side. For example, "Susan I have noticed that you have called in sick 5 times in the last three months, this is a violation of our absence policy." The opposite of this would to fail to have the correct data about number of absences, for example, "I think you have missed several days and may even be in violation of the policy."
Brief - This is the most challenging one for most of the people i work with including myself. I use to feel like if I kept talking it for make them feel better, I would mention, "I know how you must feel,,," and "you probably don't want to hear this" or, "you may even have good reasons for being out, like maybe there is an ongoing illness, I don't know but.....". All of this can be very confusing for the person receiving the message. The idea of brief is to allow them to speak, they are the ones being held accountable. Speaking too much you can say things you really don't mean to say at all, or make it worse by giving them answers to what you will be asking them. Setting this up in this way can cause them to say what you want to hear them say. The idea of brief is to create a duologue not a monologue. Talking them into doing what you want will not work. It is important for you to say what must be said then shut up!
Maintaining eye contact - I mentioned this above when talking about being direct however this should not infer "staring someone down" or using your eyes to cause them to feel uncomfortable. The importance of maintaining eye contact while you make your clear, direct and brief statement is because it will demonstrate your authenticity. Being trustworthy and sincere will translate the importance of the message and your desire to see it corrected. Focus on eye contact but after your statement lower your eyes and then look back up at them as they respond. Your eyes should infer inquiry and concern, not hostility or anger or threats.
It is hard to say what the eventual outcome of the situation will be. It may not be what you want, the person may decide this is not the right job for them or they may commit to correcting it. Your sincerity will go a long way in communicating the importance, seriousness and your intention.
So what do you think? Get the idea? Even though it may sound simple, it does take practice. Remember you may have been doing it another way for quite a long time. It takes time to develop a new practice.
From my experience the most important thing is to craft your opening statement, say what you want to say clearly, directly and briefly and then wait and listen. The remainder of the conversation is a dialogue. Ultimately you will be responding to what they say and whatever clarifications are needed next.
What about some examples? Read these and see if the idea makes more sense.
I have received feedback from clients that the store was not opened on time at least 3 times last week. What can you tell me about that?
If I heard you correctly you do not have the necessary information to complete the "Burke project" that is due tomorrow. What does that mean for the success of this project?
I am concerned that it is taking you more time to generate sales than you lead me to believe it would take. My understanding from you was that you have experience in sales yet after 6 months you have failed to close any sales. What do you think is the reason for that?
It has come to my attention that you have been observed taking food items without paying for them from the cafeteria. What can you tell me about that?
I have noticed that you are frequently sending text messages from your phone while customers are in the store. How do you feel this has impacted your sales results?
What else do you notice about these statements? If you said, they all ended in a question you would be correct. Once you state the concern, you want input from them, ask a question. We will talk more about this in Step 4. However for this week, practice putting it all together, form your concerns into a clear, direct but brief statement. Practice with actual real life situations.
See you next week!
Creative 5 Step Process - Second Step - Learn Their Intention
Step Two is to, "Learn what they want". Hmm, how you do you that? Well, ask questions of course! However there may be some information you know already. When the person was hired what was important to them in the interview? What mattered? Were they getting this job simply for more income? To get out of the house and have a break from the kids? To subsidize a college education? Or is this work with you an opportunity to learn the business so they can have a business of their own one day? What do you already know about them? Are they easily excited? Or do they have a more analytical, quiet and reserved style?
The overall conversation will flow much better if you spend some time thinking about this first. This week I spoke will a young supervisor who was planning a way to deliver her performance reviews. She had not supervised this team for long and the previous supervisor had written the reviews and would be delivering them with her. I noticed that she had planned to send the reviews to all the members of the team in advance so they would have time to review them in advance and be prepared for the appraisal meeting. However the person who was receiving the under performing rating was not going to be given his until minutes before the meeting and she was on vacation the day he would be receiving it. It appeared to me she was avoiding something. When I spoke to her I learned since he has a tendency to be more vocal than most he was going to be treated differently. As we explored it further we talked about what impact this might have on the employee. Perhaps he would be upset and would have more time to vocalize. But how would he feel when ever one else received their appraisals ahead of time and he received his at the last minute? How would he feel when the supervisor was present for everyone else's but not for his?
There is much value in thinking this out in advance and considering how this might impact someone else. As fate should have it, when he saw he was scheduled for a day she would be off, he asked her if she could be there for his appraisal and she quickly made a change to accommodate him. As far as him being volatile, it is possible he may be even more upset if he doesn't have time to digest the information and prepare his thoughts for an intentional discussion.
Think things out first and if you are not sure, ask. What is in this for them? What do they want? Is there any common ground between your position and their position? Spend some time in informal discussions listening to what is important to them, use observations of how they manage themselves in the role. If there are specific performance gaps, take note of exact examples, write it down so you can use it to give exact feedback from something you have observed. This will be more meaningful.
What are the benefits of this step? Well, it sets the foundation, provides direction and focus and allows you to know what direction to move in next.
What can happen if you forget this step or perhaps bypass it? Well, what I discovered is that I am unprepared, something always comes up that I did not expect, I find myself surprised and taken aback and ultimately it keeps me from my eventual goal.
How many times have you prepared to talk to an employee about all the things they are doing wrong and how they must fit it immediately only to find that there was a miscommunication, misintention, or misunderstanding. I have seen this many times and it never ceases to amaze me how much I didn't know because I did not stop to ask or pay attention to the signs all the way.
Your assignment this week, should you choose to accept it, is to pay attention, look for signs of what is important, ask questions. What do they want from this job? What do they value about the job? What do they need in order to improve the way they do the job? See what you can learn about what their intentions are. Compare that to your intentions and be ready next week to learn more about Step 3: State Your Concern!
Have a great week!
Creative 5-Step Process - First Step - Know Your Intention
someone? Say no to someone in need? Confront disrespectful or hurtful
behavior? Disagree with the majority in a group? Addressing performance
concerns?
What do all of these discussions have in common?
Have you read, "Diary of a Small Business Owner by Anita Brittina? It tells
the struggle that a new business owner faces when she starts her business
from scratch in the 80's. I learned many valuable lessons while reading it,
however what held my attention was the number of personnel issues she faced
and her reluctance to confront them until it was too late. Remember the
story of Eileen her sister, she hired right out of school? How about Liza
the overrated Sales Person who promised to bring in $20,000 in revenue a
month and after 6 months never brought in one account? Then there was Fran,
who she hired to manage her telemarketing team and then discovered Fran was
using them to work for her business she was starting. Darlene, her friend
from the last corporate job they worked, joined her and talked her into a
product that had heavy overhead and get them in debt.
In every one of these situations Anita avoided having a conversation she
would have been better of having. Sometimes once she finally did have the
conversations, she ended up reacting in anger firing Fran with no
explanation and sending the rest of the employees into shock.
What challenges you the most with people?
How do you handle difficult discussions?
What makes these conversations difficult?
We talked about this before, remember, generally when emotions are
sensitive, something is at risk and opinions differ, the conversation that
needs to take place will be a difficult one.
So what's in it for you to have this conversation anyway? Is this about
better communication or getting results? I would suggest it's about getting
results. Something is at risk, the longer we avoid conversations that are
demanding out attention. I would like to introduce you to a 5-Step Process
to assist you in crafting proactive conversations. Today we will talk about
the first of those 5 steps and each week we will learn one more. However
before we cover the first one, let's talk about the foundation that must
exist first and foremost. Your role is to make it safe for others to share
openly and honestly. How do you do that? Listen when other share what is on
their minds, respect their opinions and do not overact when what they share
seems out of the question. Safe means supportive and trusting. Values are
appreciated and valued.
When the time comes to have a conversation that you have been wanting to
have but putting off, the first thing to do is Know Your Intention.
By knowing your intention you will need to spend some time thinking about
what you want to come out of the this conversation. What is it you really
want. Why is that important? Well, I have attempted to have these
conversations with someone who said they wanted to come to a resolution,
wanted things to work out so that the job could be done, however once we
were in the discussion she became angry and impatient. This resulted in her
being short with her employee and striking out at her with words. When we
talked about it later she admitted she was upset with the amount of time it
was taking for performance to improve, she had seen this employee take
advantage of her time and time again, and she really could not trust her, so
she really wanted her to quit or for us to fire her.
So I would encourage you to think about what you really want. Knowing what
you want will determine the direction of the conversation. What do you want
to come out of the conversation?
Do you want the behavior, performance, attitude to change or do you want to
understand what is going on with the person, or do you want the person out
of the job? Is it too late to fix it?
By being proactive and speaking the first time you have a concern, you can
prevent ill feelings building up and frustration about continuing to work
with the person.
I recently worked with a manager and a supervisor who were at odds in their
communication. From the conversations with the manager I felt she wanted to
get rid of the supervisor by having him return to another department where
he had reportedly done well. The supervisor's behavior became so concerning
we knew we needed to meet with him and have a discussion about how he was
reacting to what was going on in his job. I asked the manager to think about
what she wanted to come out of the discussion. I asked her to Know Her
Intention.
She gave it some thought and when we sat down with him she knew she was open
to whatever he wanted to have happen. He could either stay within her
department or return to a previous role he had performed well in. The
decision was his to make. Once she came to this acceptance she could relax
when we met and allow the conversation to go wherever it needed to go. Once
the supervisor felt her acceptance and the lack of tension in her voice he
was able to admit he really did want to be successful in her department
working for her. From this point we could go on to determine what the steps
were that it would take for them to work effectively together.
Your turn! What conversation do you need to have this week? Got it in mind?
Great, then what is your intention, what it is you want to have happen? What
is most important to you about his relationship?
Think about that and come back next week we will talk about step 2, Learn
Their Intention...
New to Leadership
I have watched countless leaders start out their new roles with much enthusiasm and excitement only to become overwhelmed and cut off at the knees when their first employee goes to HR to report them for saying and doing things that they considered unprofessional, inappropriate and thoughtless. When I ask the leaders to describe what is happening with the employee, they say the problem is they are not meeting the expectations of the job, they are far behind everyone else that started when they did and the reason is they are new at the job, but even newer than others because they have missed time from work due to illness and illness of their child. It seems that even though they have been in the job for a year, they have missed 4 months due to illness and their child's illness. The employee is slated to receive a low rating in the year end appraisal process. And to make matters worse the employee misses at least one day of work a week sometimes two. What went wrong, how did this all happen?
Sound familiar? All too often we plan to take things assertively and bravely into our hands and somehow we find we missed cues, failed communications, missed signals. And before we know it, something that started so innocently becomes hopelessly deadlocked. Perhaps the only thing to do is to manage the performance out of the company besides how can you work with someone like this, they don't want to work, they must be in the wrong job, it's hopeless, but is it?
Let me tell you about Rob, a new leader and his team of phone associates. Many of them are new hires just trying to learn the job. Out of 4 of the new hires one went out on disability after only a few months on the job. This was just enough time to get through training and not much more. She was out for 4 months. That can be deadly in a job like this. The more practice you get talking to clients the better you build your skills. Time away if time lost. So she came back after 4 months and felt like she was starting over. Let's call her Dawn. The first time Rob called me to tell me about Dawn I remember he described her like this. She isn't very interested in learning this job, she went right out on durability and once she came back, she then started missing time because if her daughter being sick. Then just yesterday she forgot her key to her desk and called a client to get information about the client, Taboo in our world, and her reason may just have been that she was being lazy. When Rob asked her about the incident, she appeared bored and uninterested and definitely not taking responsibility for what she had done. We decided that the incident was serious enough for her to be placed on final warning. So Rob prepared it and sent it to me to review before issuing it. He told me his manager had approved it. The manager is someone I feel is very thorough, so I trusted it and allowed them to issue it.
A few weeks later more problems resulted with Dawn. I decided it was time to meet her. I called her over to my office. I bet you can imagine what happened next. That's right, Dawn's side of the story was totally different than Rob's. Dawn told me how much of a smart Alec Rob had been to her, she did make a mistake when she called the client for their information, and she was very sorry she had done it, when he got her in the conference room to talk to her about it, she felt all she could do was get back to work and make sure something like that never happened again. Meanwhile Rob wanted her to be remorseful and more physically deterred by what she had done. He asked her, "Don't you feel remorse? You are not even remorseful? What if your daughter did something bad, don't you think she should have been punished?" Dawn was so shocked by the horror of his words that she shut down, not only that moment but all the moments after wards when dealing with Rob. The final warning that Rob delivered turned out to be poorly written and inappropriate to be delivered. These incidents as well as other negative comments made by Rob had aggravated and caused disruption in the interaction between Rob and Dawn.
What can be done to restore peace here? Only one thing in my book, I made note that Rob is new at leadership and despite how wonderful he was to work with me and listen to what he was saying, ask many questions to determine what is happening and review what he submits in writing for documentation carefully even if is more senior manager has seen it already. I spoke with him and asked about Dawn's comments and he agreed he had said the things she said he did, he did not realize the impact for him she did not seem to understand the seriousness of the situation and so he said whatever it took to get her to react.
I met with both of them together and we talked it out. Rob was wonderful, he apologized to Dawn for hurting her feelings and listened while she spoke. She told him she realized how hard it was for him to support her when she missed so much work, she told him how that was not her intention, that she wanted to be there, wanted to be good at her job and realized she had to do something about her home situation. She apologized too.
An important conversation that was a culmination of many conversations to get to that point. How can something like this be prevented? Proactive conversations, conversations that happen at the beginning of an issue before things get ugly or out of hand, before things are said that cause hurt and misunderstanding. Can things be healed, fixed corrected? Yes, they can be, but what if those hurtful comments and confusion never had to happen?
What do you think?
People Solutions: The Proactive Way
How do you handle difficult discussions? Most people avoid (silence) or some may use violence (threats)
3 different ways they can take place:
The answers to these questions can give you clarity and composure to patiently have the necessary dialogue; if you ever find yourself forgetting the goal, go back to the first step and ask yourself, what do I want and what am I willing to do to have this resolved?
Taking the First Step!
One of the most critical discussions is generally about performance. We hope that everyone hired will be a match for the job they are hired for, they will perform well and business will run smoothly. But happens when that doesn't happen? From my experience the manager may choose to do one of several things. Sometimes they ignore the performance hoping it will change, sometimes they put the employee through training again, other times they take a stronger performer away from their job to help the poor performer. But there is one thing missing in all this.
While we may be taking action are we taking the most effective action? I would like to encourage you to act and act proactively! When should you do something about poor performance? The second something doesn't feel right. I ask managers what signs did they have that something wasn't right. They can almost give me the date and the time. Many of our managers started in the positions of the people they are managing. They were promoted because they did a great job in the non-management role, so they know when someone is getting it and when they aren't.
Once the manager gets to me (or if I can get to them first) I ask them what is getting in the way of them talking to the employee about their concerns. More often then not, they are waiting for more evidence, or for them to be moved away from this employee to a new assignment. Fear keeps people from taking steps they know they should be taking.
There is a process that I have found helpful to follow. By knowing the process one can often act even when in fear. I like to remind them, "Your fears are not walls, but hurdles. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the conquering of it." (Dan Millman)
Once someone is armed with skills to manage these discussions effectively it makes it a little easier to take the plunge. Over the next few weeks, I will be teaching you a process that works every time. For now, let's start at the beginning. To begin with the first skill is to assess what's going on.
"What needs to be said that I am not saying?" Generally it is something like, "I don't think this is the right job for you!" But how will someone react when you hit them with that? My suggestion is not to start the conversation that way. I prefer to find out how they feel things are going first. So I might say something like, "Paul, you have been in your position for 6 months now, how do you think it's going?" Generally Paul will say one of three distinct things. "Great", "Hmm, not sure", "Terrible, I hate this job". Once they answer you can decide where to go from here. As expected you know you have your work cut out for you when they say, "Great."
When this happens the next best response is, "Tell me about that?" Let me define what great means to them. It can be anything from I like this company, benefits, professional setting to some delusion that they are meeting all the requirements of the job.
Bottom line, find out where they are and your conversation starts there. To have a discussion like this you have to create a trusting environment. While I know you may be inpatient to get to the bottom line, resist the urge to do that. Ask what and how questions until you have a clear vision of what is important to them, how they see things and what they want. Then and only then are you ready to move to the next step.
Practice this week asking What and How questions until you have a clear picture of what is going on from the employee's perspective. Next time we will talk about what to do next.
Turning Adversity Into Victory
"Do Not Go Where The Path May Lead, Go Instead Where There Is No Path &b Then Leave a Trail." - ralph waldo emerson
I am a Coach in a Fortune 500 Financial Company. For the last 16 years I have counseled employees, conducted exit interviews with over 500 former employees, coached managers from entry level to senior management on areas of Performance Management, Employment Law, Employee Relations and Career Development. In that time I have worked with thousands of professionals. My role there has been rewarding due to the opportunity to make changes, heal lives and blaze new trails. This blog will be about some of the experiences I face there (no real names will ever be used), lessons learned and victories obtained.
While coaching in an environment like this can be challenging it is never boring. People change over the years but similarities are common. I trust you will find something here worthy of commenting on. I welcome your comments and thoughts of similarities and differences from your environments. There is much to be learned and constant opportunity to share knowledge and solutions. Creative Solutions refers to the many creative people, situations and outcomes that have presented themselves to me over the years. Will you find something in common, something to share, something to change? Let me know in these pages here. I welcome our thoughts, energy and Creative Solutions.
